LET’S TALK WRITING #6 with Cheryl B. Evans

LET’S TALK WRITING #6

with Cheryl B. Evans, author of “I Promised Not To Tell”

13518016_243914002657226_22686374_oI wish I could tell you that I always wanted to write, that since I was a little girl it was in me to be a great writer.  The fact is that simply is not true.  Yes, one of my favorite pastimes is reading. I have a home library full of non-fiction books but writing one of my own was not something I had ever planned to do.

It took something rather extraordinary to happen to bring me to a place when I wanted to write, rather I needed to write.   Some call it a trigger, but it was my motivation, my inspiration.  It was the day my youngest daughter told me the thing she needed most in the world was to be a boy.   The impact that statement had on me was surreal.   I began to document every step of our family’s journey for the days, months and years that followed until without even realizing it I had become a writer.  The end result of all my writing was the book that I wished I had available to me when our story first began.    While penning our story I allowed the pages to be filled with the most intimate and deeply personal details of what was happening to our family, believing my eyes would be the only eyes to ever see it.

Towards the end, I became acutely aware of the hardships many transgender people face and the families that are unwilling to accept a loved one who has come out as transgender.  There was a need for others to know our story existed, a need to know they were not alone. The families turning their children away simply for being who they are needed support and guidance.  They needed to be shown an example of unconditional love and a way to acceptance.  The book I had written needed to be shared, to be published and with my son’s permission, it was.  While I became an author by chance, it was not without purpose.  My writing helped me, it healed me and now I pray it can help to heal others.

Today, my family is whole, healthy and happy.  I write today so other family’s can come out the other site of their struggles to a place of acceptance and love.   I write today to impact others in a meaningful way.  One extraordinary event awakening in me something I never expected.  It has fueled a new passion, a new desire from within and my intent now is to harness that and see where it takes me from here.

©Cheryl B. Evans

Note from Viga Boland: Cheryl has kindly supplied a couple of links to interviews with her about her book, “I Promised Not To Tell”. You will find those interviews here:

http://theearlyhour.com/2016/09/15/mother-to-a-transgender-child/

http://jane-davis.co.uk/2016/09/06/virtual-book-club-cheryl-b-evans/

If you haven’t yet read Cheryl’s story, you will find my review of her book at this link on MEMOIRABILIA

As always, Cheryl would be delighted to receive some feedback from YOU on her thoughts about writing. Just post your comments in the boxes provided toward the bottom of this page. Thanks for reading.

10 thoughts on “LET’S TALK WRITING #6 with Cheryl B. Evans

  1. Nancy Gustafson

    October 7, 2016

    Cheryl, your courage in writing about your son is an inspiration to all of us, and especially to those of us who have transgender children, or homosexual children. You accomplished the most beautiful of virtues–unconditional love. What a wonderful parent you are!

    • Viga Boland

      October 7, 2016

      Thanks so much Nancy for responding so quickly to our latest post in “Let’s Talk Writing”. I agree. It takes a lot of courage to write a book like this. But more, it takes recognizing the need to tell the truth and enlighten the unenlightened. Just one of the reasons I believe so fervently that “memoirs matter”. Though I don’t believe Cheryl wrote this with “memoir” in mind, it is a memoir, whatever the reason Cheryl wrote it.

    • Cheryl B. Evans

      October 8, 2016

      Thank you Nancy for you very kind comments. To me a parent that delivers unconditional love to their children is the only kind of parent to me. It still strikes me as a bit odd when people tell my husband and I how wonderful we are just for loving our kids – but I understand, as sad as it is, that we are not necessarily the norm. This is why the book went public and I’m delighted to know it is being so well received. Thank you again for taking the time to comment on Viga’s post and for showing such appreciation for my story, it means so much me! Cheryl xo

  2. Jan Selbourne

    October 7, 2016

    Hi Cheryl, your story touched me deeply. Every parent faces challenges of some kind and your story of unconditional love for your son is an inspiration. I wish you and your family many years of health and happiness.

    • Cheryl B. Evans

      October 8, 2016

      Thank you for sharing that with me Jan! I’m delighted to know my story has touched you as it has. I receive your blessings on my family with great gratitude, thank you! Jan, have you read the book itself? Or was it the story Viga post you are referring to that touched you deeply? If you have had my book, I would so much appreciate your leaving a review for me on Amazon – If that is not to much to ask? Warmest regards, Cheryl

  3. May Salix

    October 8, 2016

    I really enjoyed reading about how you basically fell into writing. Even though you hadn’t set out to be a writer, I think you touched on something that many writers can relate to: the *need* to write, and in your case, with the hope that it’ll positively affect families and create a dialogue rather than a chasm. I liked the way you described how the book evolved from a personal narrative to something you decided to share with the world; the way you wrote about why you chose to write/publish this book was lovely.

    • Cheryl B. Evans

      October 8, 2016

      Hi May, it’s nice to meet you 🙂 I’m happy you enjoyed reading about my experience about how I ‘fell’ into writing. I agree the ‘need’ to write is an important distinction. In my opinion, writing can be a very therapeutic activity for anyone who is navigating a challenging or new experience. Some days the tears poured as I wrote providing me with a much needed release. Thank you May for your kind words and for sharing them with us. Cheryl.

  4. Sue Corbran

    October 13, 2016

    I’m looking forward to reading more. I’m a writer as well; and just wrote a chapter in an anthology about my own coming out story. I agree that writing is very therapeutic and I believe we are meant to share our lives with others so they know they aren’t in this alone. Thank you for your authenticity.

    • Viga Boland

      October 13, 2016

      Hi Sue…and welcome to Vianvi. How nice of you to respond to Cheryl’s post. I look forward to learning more about you as you are talking to a “pro” on coming out with her story. You’ll find me here if you’re curious: http://www.vigaboland.com You may also like to check out my other site for memoir writers at http://www.memoirabilia.ca

    • Cheryl B. Evans

      October 13, 2016

      Hi Sue 🙂 Thank you for your comments and thank you for reaching out to me on facebook earlier today – I look forward to getting to know you better. Cheryl

Leave a Comment